DJ Fuzuli Presents: Flagship
	a 77 minute continuous DJ mix
	triple distilled MP3, 118MB

Track Listing:

The real thing that is complicating the story here
is that I never believed in this life...never believed that it would
actually have any lasting meaning. I think at a deep level I am convinced of
some sort of emptiness. This renders my time here painful when I think of
all the "time I have to spend doing things I know are completely wrong and
pointless". Such as bearing with my teachers all through school, while
knowing what they are teaching is pretty much bullshit. Does this make any
sense? The point is, I feel like I have come here to do something great so I
am suffering greatly for it but in the last analysis nothing is really going
on in the big picture of things and this renders everything meaningless,
especially all the effort that is being put by God or whomever to keep me
where I am. I literally feel like I am being kept where I am by another
force.

As I see it, if I was left alone, I would have been a happy fool, or an
enlightened man no longer here by now. Some other force however is playing
with things - which might as well be my higher self - but this is irrelevant
because I am not conscious of it at the moment. As far as I can see, I am
moved between countries every so often, make relationships with great
difficulty only to lose them, get to know places and people only to start
all over again as a total alien, even if the new alien world was mine just
six years ago.

Maybe this is just the ego bitching left and right - for I clearly believe
it is the ego who wants to commit suicide, what the fuck would somebody care
if he really did not believe in this world anyway - but that is why I quote
Franklin Merrell-Wolff, because even he says, as an enlightened being, how
hard it is to be born in an animal body, and go through all this suffering,
even if only illusory, is painful, because you know you came here not for
yourself, and nothing you do is for yourself, yet you have to suffer and
wait for the time...when you can live in the full consciousness of who you
are, and this waiting is just very painful, because you know there is
nothing else to do other than wait, other than throw your temper tantrums,
even though you see how pointless they are; you agreed to live this drama
before birth they tell you, and all you can do now is just pretend to buy
this world and have some fun, and even that they deny you.

I hope this makes some sense...words from the heart as best as I could
express them.